Today wasn’t bad. No, not by any means. Don’t think I’m such a priss that I can’t appreciate kindness and generosity when I see it. Children are particularly sweet when they know it’s your birthday. They understand the giddyness of anticipation that they feel when they grow another year older. They maintain the childlike perspective that on your birthday you are prince or princess for a day and accept nothing less. They are exceptionally sweet. My coworkers brought chocolate cake. I got flowers from my mom and my husband, a host of text messages, phone calls, emails and good old fashioned cards. I realized something though: Twenty six denotes the year when birthday’s really aren’t fun anymore. They are every bit as much another day as any other day when it really comes down to it. No more candles or brightly colored packages (and no, I didn’t miss it.) But even 25 comes with a reduction in car insurance. Twenty six? That’s just boring. It’s hard to achieve understanding when the people I work with are all at least 10 years older, but the bottom line is that for the first time in my life, I actually feel old. I can’t decide if I like it or not!
I don’t feel like I look old. Not 3 months ago I was mistaken for a student by the Papa John’s delivery guy in the lunchroom at work. I hope he at least thought I was an 8th grader. I think I look my age but no older and probably, if I am to be realistic, much younger. It’s not looks and it’s not really in number either. I guess maybe feeling older comes down to maturity– Maturity in knowing that big expensive gifts are nice but credit card bills are not. Maturity is knowing that cookie cakes are awesome but calories actually do count, regardless of what day it is. Maturity is finally appreciating how truly neat it is to share my birthday with my brothers– We’re all 4 years apart. We’re all born in April. We all turn the next age within 9 days of one another. Having the last birthday used to drive me crazy but something this year made me excited that we were all growing up together. We’re all legal adults now. One brother is even my neighbor!
I have my family. I have my husband. I have my friends. Number doesn’t matter and neither does looks. In them, I have everything that I could ever want.